WISH WE WERE FAMOUS

This week the new teen drama ‘The LA Complex’ made its debut on Canada’s Much Music Network.  The hour long program, which centers around a group of young performers from Canada who all live in the same low rent apartment building, was recently picked up by the CW, which means audiences in the US will get to see it soon.  Thanks to the magic of the internet, I’ve already watched the first episode and The LA Complex seems to have potential, but we’ll have to see if they can keep it interesting.

Writer & producer Martin Gero and director Stefan Brogren who also worked on Bored to Death and Degrassi, respectively, want people to know that LA Complex is not a Degrassi spin-off in any way, even though it does have one  alum from the long running teen show, Cassie Steele.  After all, they already made a Degrassi Goes to Hollywood movie, so this is completely different, okay?

The main characters are Abby Vargas, an actress & singer from Toronto who was living out of her car until Nick Wagner, an unfunny stand-up comedian took her under his wing and convinced his landlord to let her have the vacant room in the building.  Nick’s friend Connor Lake is the one who just moved out of The Lux after his tv pilot was picked up.  He meets Abby at his going away party & they get sexy on the rooftop after Abby downs an ecstasy pill & decides to go with it.  The next morning they realize (oops!) they forgot a condom and Connor graciously offers to buy a morning after pill for the broke little actress.  Best line of the episode: “An abortion AND breakfast…and they say there are no good guys in LA!”

Points for:

-Showing recreational drug use without making it seem like it ruined the people’s lives/is the worst thing in the world.  In fact, the E seems to have helped [cassie] find quite the dashing gentleman…

-The building they live in looks realistically dumpy…this ain’t Melrose Place.

-The nerdy kid sees his friend throwing out old painkillers & stops him, saying he can sell the pills…that’s just practical.

As Connor is waiting for Abby to escort her to the nearest CVS, he runs into his 2am hook-up girl, aging starlet Raquel Monaghan, played by Firefly veteran Jewel Staite.  She’s mad because he failed to get her an audition for his show & she desperately needs work.  Her character’s desperation makes you a little uncomfortable, but I think it will add great depth to the show.  Another sad sack is the nerdy comedian, who keeps doing open mics even though they go over horribly and the club host straight up tells him to quit.

Rounding out the cast is Tariq Muhammad, an aspiring musician who’s stuck in a dead end job being a bitch for a big time record producer & desperately trying to get someone to listen to his beats.  At the end of the episode, he attached one of his own beats to an email for Drake, so we’ll see if his risk pays off.  Then finally, there’s Alicia Mann, an energetic dancer who strips for extra cash.  Interestingly, when they reveal her side job, it doesn’t seem sleazy, because the girl seems to genuinely love dancing in the spotlight, no matter what the venue.

Back to Abby, after ingesting her Plan B pill, she has to hightail it to a singing audition with her favorite director.  Since she’s broke & about to be homeless, this job is her last shot at Hollywood.  She nails the audition, but ends up puking right after the song ends, thanks the pill she took earlier.  She commiserates with Alicia, who never heard back from an audition she thought she owned, and admits that she’ll probably have to leave cause she can’t pay rent.  Dancer girl says “Oh, money’s your problem?  That’s easy,” and whisks her away to join the exciting field of pole dancing.  Problem solved?

My only issues with this episode were related to how they portrayed the Morning After Pill (Abortion Pill, seriously?!)  Right before Abby is about to take it, she says it’s going to “knock her out” and that it says it causes “extreme nausea.”  Now, I’ve taken the same pill…enough…times to know that that is 100% bullshit.  So the message this sends is taking Ecstasy once in awhile is fine, but taking Plan B will fuck your shit UP.  That’s healthy for young girls.  Other than that, I’m hopeful that LA Complex with be a new take on the young adult genre & show a more gritty and realistic side to being young & trying to make sense of your life.  There’s no gimmicks like vampires, werewolves, or witchcraft and none of the glitz, glamour & privilege of shows like Gossip Girl.  I’m hoping this will be a fascinating look into the unchartered underworld of young Canadians trying to make it…or get pregnant trying.

At the Emmys about a week ago AMC’s  Mad Men, a show set at an advertising agency in 1960s New York City, won Best Dramatic Series for the fourth consecutive year.  As with what usually happens when a new type of tv show becomes wildly popular, major broadcast networks are trying to get in on the action with similarly themed shows.

While Mad Men has strong female characters, the main protagonist is a man.  The primetime network shows seem to be taking a slightly different route by centering their shows around working women. There’s The Playboy Club, set in Chicago, about the bunnies that serve drinks and wear fuzzy tails and are basically paid to flirt with men.  Then there’s Pan Am, about beautiful, college-educated flight attendants who are supposed to be a “new breed of woman.”

At first glance it may seem to be a little sexist to portray women with jobs in the 60s as basically different versions of glorified waitresses that gain success by catering to the needs of men.  But then you have to consider that the types of jobs available to women were limited and they were eventually expected to give them up, get married, and raise a family.  So I thought I’d give Playboy Club and Pan Am a try and compare them to Mad Men and how it deals with women in the 60s.

The first time I watched Mad Men I remember seeing Pete Campbell sexually harass Peggy then make some racist comment about “China-men” a few minutes later.  Without realizing that Pete was supposed to be the slimeball of the show, I wrote it off as another lame attempt to take a time in history when  it sucked to be black, gay, a woman, ect and make it sleek and sexy.  Of course eventually I watched the whole series and realized how wrong I was.  Mad Men does a great job at showing the narrow-mindedness of people during the 60s without vilifying them or making them into saints.

To me it’s interesting that lots of women think the main character Don Draper is an awful person.  Sure, he does use women for sex, but don’t lots of men (and women) today do that too?  As we see his relationships throughout the seasons, it seems like he attempts to do right by his ladies, but ends up failing miserably.  As for Betty, the dissolution of their marriage is much deeper than his affairs and her longing for something more.  She behaves like an insolent teenager and her immaturity and vengefulness really start to show when Don tries to maintain a relationship with his children.

Also, Don’s relationship with Peggy is one of the most interesting and touching parts of the story.  When some men at the advertising firm see her a sexual object and others see her as a sassy friend, but not their equal, Don sees her for her talent, personality, and intelligence.  Once she proves that she is fully committed to her job, he treats her like he would any man.  I know Joan is a favorite character, and I love her too, but beneath her hard exterior, she is much more fragile than Peggy.  If Peggy is the new modern woman, Joan is her older sister; smart, successful, and wise in the ways of men, yet stuck in her domestic role.

Now onto the new shows…Sexism aside for awhile, my problem with both of Playboy Club and Pan Am is that they feel the need to spice up the premise with murder, mafia hit men, and Cold War espionage.  In the opening episode of Playboy Club, new bunny Maureen accidentally kills a mob kingpin who’s trying to rape her by kicking him in the jugular with a stiletto…really?  So the rest of the show is probably going to be about her trying to cover it up, while partying it up at the Playboy mansion and acting like she’s having the time of her life.

In Pan Am, stewardess Kate is recruited to become a CIA helper after her co-worker Bridget is mysteriously missing from duty.  In lieu of any kind of training, she is given a test where she has to steal a passport from a passenger then put it back in his bag.  Aside from the ridiculousness of it all, why would anyone with a good job want to all of a sudden risk their life to help the CIA, an organization which uses people, spits them out, then erases any evidence they ever existed?  Also, the agent testing Kate says she’s needed to replace Bridget, so for all Kate knows, the job she just took probably got her friend killed.

While I’m sure these crazy plot twists will keep Playboy Club and Pan Am interesting for awhile, it leads me to question why such gimmicks are needed from the get-go.  Mad Men employs no such cheap tactics to catch people’s interest, rather it relies on letting the characters tell their stories.  There’s lot of other directions Pan Am could go in to tell its story.  First of all, it seems strange that all the main girls are friends and have no rivalries or jealousy despite the fact that the new stewardess who has only been there 2 weeks got on the cover of Life Magazine, and is therefore the unofficial face of the airline.  Also, they know from the beginning that when they get married or turn 32 they will be forced to quit.  So even though they are supposed to be liberated woman, they’re just basically traipsing around the world getting new experiences and meeting people—all in the hopes of eventually finding a husband and settling down.

I think Playboy Club has more promise because it’s more overtly sexual and the misogyny isn’t hidden…one might even argue that it’s exploited.  The bunnies are ambitious women, some of them with husbands and boyfriends, who are making tons of money off sleazy guys who will pay to stare at their asses.  Also, it seems like there’s more potential for meaningful story lines with the inclusion of an African American and a lesbian bunny.  It will be interesting to see how they fit into the Playboy lifestyle and how the other girls treat them.  Also, say what you want about Hugh Hefner, but during that time period he was an outspoken supporter of Civil Rights and his clubs helped black entertainers reach much bigger audiences.  In the first episode of Playboy Club, Ike and Tina Turner are performing for the first time in a non-segregated venue.

I definitely Playboy Club has more potential to show a compelling portrayal of women trying to gain some kind of foothold in the world.  Most of the girls seem to be damaged, running away from something, or looking for a chance to be a star.  Their backstorys make it much easier to believe that they think working at the Playboy Club is the best chance they’ll ever have.  Pan Am seems more light and fluffy…the girls become flight attendants because they have these useless college degrees and can speak multiple languages and don’t want to squander their youth by getting married to their high school sweethearts.    They seem more aimless rather than free, just looking for an exciting adventure rather than trying to make a better life for themselves.  Also, I don’t know about you, but if I had a choice between being stuck on a plane and sleeping in a different city every night or living it up in the Playboy Mansion with 3am pool parties and free rent, I think I’d choose the latter.

Or they could just make a show about Playboy Airlines…?

It’s worth noting that the girl who plays Maureen (Amber Heard) is gay and has a girlfriend, but still plays sexy lead roles …so that’s awesome.  I saw a comment on an IMDB board where this guy was complaining about having a lesbian cast as the lead in a show called The Playboy Club because then he couldn’t dream about ever meeting/doing her.  First of all dude, go screw yourself, but also, what about the girls that can watch Playboy Club and fantasize…?

 

A Single Man, fashion designer Tom Ford’s directorial debut, is a masterpiece pure and simple.  After all the hype surrounding Ford’s inspired endeavor into filmmaking, I was kind of secretly hoping the movie would suck.  Of course I knew it would be beautiful, but some part of me was hoping it would be as shallow and superficial as the world of fashion is to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes and using fashion as self-expression.  What I hate though is the high fashion world that allows creepy old men to unanimously decide what’s “in” and dress up malnourished 16 year olds in bizarre outfits, while shoveling cocaine into their faces.  ANYWAY…

 Cinematography and mise-en-scene are probably the most important aspects of what makes a great film to me, and Ford, as someone well-versed in visual language, mastered both of those aspects effortlessly.

 See what I’m talking about?  Freaking gorgeous right?

The film, based on a novel of the same name by Christopher Isherwood, is about a gay British professor named George living in Los Angeles who has just lost his partner of 16 years in a car accident.  He is trying to go about his day, but is clearly depressed, not only about his loss, but about life in general.  Along the way he encounters strange, beautiful people who challenge his perceptions about the world and about himself.

 I don’t think I’ve ever identified more with a character in film, and it’s funny that it’s with a gay man.  I guess me and George do have a similar taste in men (beautiful, blue eyed, super gay), but the similarities run much deeper.  Throughout the film, George seems surprised that people are drawn to him.  He is awkward and sensitive and can’t for the life of him see just how fabulous he is.  He has kind of a beautiful sadness about him; the one thing he said that I really understood was about how he wakes up in the morning with a sense of melancholy, and how it takes him a few hours to become himself, or at least the version of himself that he projects to the world.

 Colin Firth’s performance as George was, in my opinion, his best yet.  Usually I think he comes off grumpy and kinda creepy, with a vague psycho killer vibe.  But in this film his performance was low key, and realistic, but also extremely compelling and powerful.  Watching his face in the scene where he gets the phone call informing him about his lover’s death is the most heartbreaking thing ever.

 Doesn’t this look like a commercial or something?  DAMN Tom Ford, damn.

Visually, the shots are interesting to look at, without distracting from the story.  There are a lot of colors and symbols repeated over and over again to imply significance, as well as a heavy emphasis on people’s faces.  The actors have nowhere to hide when their entire faces fill the screen, but Ford trusts his actors and doesn’t shy away from long close-ups.

 Another thing I loved about this film was the way it handled George’s relationships.  Sometimes in films when there’s a relationship between a college age student and an older man, it can seem a bit sleazy, but George’s fragile state of mind make him sweet and sympathetic, like a sad little puppy.  It seems natural that the other men gravitate towards him, because he seems like someone who just needs a friend to talk to. 

Bottom line: This movie is straight beautiful and will make you appreciate the beauty in life, but also make you cry.  I feel like it starts out really fucking sad, but then gets happier as it goes on, but that might just be because I’m depressed too.  

 BONUS: lots of eye candy in the form of hot guy from Chasing Liberty, hot guy from Skins, hot guy who looks like a Spanish James Dean.  Yum.

 Oh whoops I forgot to talk about Julianne Moore who plays George’s drunken fag hag friend.  She’s amazing, as per usual.  Love you girl.

When I heard that they made a film version of The Informers, I was so pumped that I twittered (tweeted?) about it immediately.  Because any movie based on a Bret Easton Ellis book (Rules of Attraction, American Psycho) is undoubtably going to be awesome.  But then I said to myself hey Rory, remember Less Than Zero?  Even Robert Downey Jr. couldn’t save that bomb.

So far I’ve read pretty mixed reviews, but mostly the consensus is that the movie doesn’t do old BEE justice.  There ARE some awesome people involved with the film…to name a few: Chris Isaak, Winona Ryder, Brad Renfro (bonus points cause he’s dead).  But there’s also that chick from Pineapple Express.  Just…no.  Also, they cut out a part from the book about one of the characters being a vampire.  Yeah, cause vampires certainly aren’t selling these days.

In conclusion, this movie has been out since April and no one I know has seen it.  Maybe on some dark and lonely night I’ll stumble upon in torrent form, but until then,  I’ll stick to the book.

“Look how sexy, blonde, and dead inside we are.  Jealous?”

So, I love seeing movies.  And I know I should totally go support independent theaters by going and seeing movies there.  But it’s just suuch a hassle.  First of all, it will set me back at least 10 bucks.  Then I have to find some sucker to shell out mad cash to see some obscure film that probably only I will enjoy.  And even if I do all that, I STILL have to spent 30 minutes on the metro/driving to get there.

The point is, there are bunch of movies out now that I’m dying to see.  But for the reasons above, I choose to wait until some lovely person posts them online.  So this post is entitled “Upcoming Movies I Want to See Except They’re Actually Already in Theaters But That’s Okay Cause I’m Sure Not Many People Have Seen Them.”

Cheri, starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Rupert Friend

I don’t know too much about this film, but from what I’ve heard, it sounds pretty hot.  It’s about a poor little rich boy (Friend) who is forced to end his relationship with a hot cougar chick (Pfeiffer).  I know us ladies usually like older men, but when I’m 40, I’m TOTALLY tryna find a hot young piece of ass to make me feel young again.  So, you go Michelle Pfeiffer.

“God, I’m so bored with all these hot girls.  If only I could make sweet love to my older woman again.”

Also Rupert Friend = hottestfuckingguyever.  He looks like Orlando Bloom but with blue eyes…enough said.  And he was completely amazing in The Young Victoria as the humble Prince Albert who was basically the most supportive husband ever, which can’t be easy when your wife runs the most powerful empire in the world.  So yeah, I pretty much want to see Cheri for the sexy people.  And sex scenes, which I’m sure there will plenty of.  Definitely need to watch this one in the privacy of my own home.

“Got two chicks in my bed, but sex is so much more meaningful when you’re in love.  Woe is me.”

I know haven’t updated in forever, but I will write in here regularly now, I promise!

Next movie up: THE INFORMERS

Now here’s the thing about my taste in film.  I like fucked up movies about fucked up people doing some fucked up shit.  When I saw The Notebook, all 4 friends who were with me burst into tears.  I was confused becuase I thought two people staying together their whole lives without anything fucking it, up then dying in each other’s arms was a happy ending.  And I just re-watched Casablanca so don’t get me started on that.  The dialogue is so cheesy and the whole thing is just really overdone and melodramatic.  Now Titanic, that was a movie that knew how to tug at your heartstrings.  I’ll never let go, Leo.

So anyways, seeing as how I like fucked up movies and as well as Malcolm Mcdowell & ancient Roman history, I decided to give the film Caligula a try.  I knew it was *raunchy* but I had no idea just I was in for.  In retrospect, it should have tipped me off that it went through the hands of three different directors and was produced by Penthouse Pictures.  But Malcolm was just so dreamy in A Clockwork Orange that I couldn’t resist.

The films opens by showing Caligula’s sensative side, as he enjoys a romp in the forest and a quickie with his sister Drusilla.  Sadly, their relationship is the most touching/normal in the entire movie, so that’s saying something.  Next Caligula is told he must visit his dying grandfather Tiberius, played by Peter O’Toole.  Tiberius is so old, busted, and slutty that HIS FACE IS ROTTING, probably due to advanced syphillis.  So now we know that it IS possible to live a normal life, even if part of your body is starting to decay.  Cool.

So yeah, he dies obv.  Well technically, he’s smothered to death, but you get the idea.  Then Caligula becomes Caesar and shit really starts to go down.  At first you feel kinda sorry for him because no one really takes him seriously and it’s clear he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing.  And is name means ‘little boots’ which is just embarrassing.  But he quickly gets into the groove of being Caesar and executes pretty much everyone: his trusted friend, his counsin, a soldier for being “too noble.”  Dude is crazy.  One of the most noteable (ie incredibly disturbing) scenes in my opinion is one where Caligula decide orders the soldier to death because has not become corrupted and therefore is “not Roman.”  He has his guards stab him, then two horny bitches start rubbing his blood all over themselves.  Then they pee on him, cut off his dick and feed it to the dogs.  Yeah, it’s that kind of movie.

Helen Mirren, you one fiiiine…actress.

If you think that’s wacky, wait til you get to the orgy scene.  Since good ol Little Boots is a terrible ruler who I’m pretty can’t read, the Roman government is in debt.  Caligula comes up with the brilliant idea to whore the wives of all the senators in Rome in an imperial brothel.  A lot of the footage from that scene, and others, was added in later, much to the dismay of the lead actors who had a reputation to upload.  This scene gets REALY graphic but thankfully there’s no killing to give it that snuff film vibe.  There IS a close-up cumshot.  And this movie was seen by people in independent theaters across the country when it was released.  Including my parents, which may be the most disturbing thing about this whole experience.

On the whole, I feel that watching this film was 2 and half hours well spent.  It might have been insanely gruesome and perverted, but as least I can genuinely say I’ve never seen anything like.  Hollywood could never name a movie like this today, and that makes me sad.  Maybe because I’m a little bit kinky or maybe because I believe in artistic expression, and that movies are supposed to be more than just images on a screen, they’re supposed to be a sensory experience.  But the real reason is Malcolm’s stunning blue eyes…he can do the old in-out with me anytime.

So Skins, the best show ever, just started its third season a couple weeks ago.  For those of you who aren’t cool like me and have never heard of it before, it’s a British teen drama about a bunch of fucked up kids getting into ridiculously fucked up situations.

What I like best about the show is that it has the right amout of realism and fantasy.  There’s regular run-of-the-mill fucked up moments like when the crazy alcoholic Cook drinks 4 beers before his first day of college.  I mean, we’ve all been there.

And then there’s crazy shit like when when Cook and his mates crash a party that a local gangster is hosting for his daughter’s engagement and he ends up getting thrown off the balcony by said gangster.  Then later, at a whorehouse, Cook runs into the gangster getting a little s&m action and beats up/blackmails the guy while he’s tied down.

And these kids are only 17.

The OC was for pussies.  I don’t want to see a bunch of rich kids prancing around in their mansions and *drinking* alcohol, I want to see some gangster shit.  And Degrassi was alright but there always had to be some dumb moral lesson at the end, like not to take esctasy or meet older men online.

Skins WANTS you to take ecstasy.  And sleep around.  Watching that show just really makes me want to go out and get into trouble.

Loving all things British is so00 played out.  Here’s why I love the land down under: